The hardest part about making art, is making art.
I was raised to believe art is like magic. You are either born gifted by god or you're not. And so, as a kid I drew occasionally, when I felt inspired. And of course, I eventually stopped, when the dam blocked up the flow. Same thing happened with music. I played drums and wrote songs with friends, and then, my inspiration well dried up. A great drought in my inner being. Discouragement turned into depression, and depression into apathy.
And then, after reading many books and a consistent, gentle knocking by the creative spirit, I changed my actions, and so began changing my lifelong beliefs. I now know: making art is hard work. Coming to that blank page everyday is like poking a grumpy, horny, starving bear. Oh, and I just fed my cat wet food so my hands are lathered in salmon and tuna juices, and I'm still wearing my wife's favorite bear cosplay outfit featuring the bear mating growl-call 2000. That bear is looking at me with every ounce of it's desire ready to eat me alive.
The bear is that dementor in my head, taking shape of everyone I know, mocking and ridiculing me. "You're too old. Aren't you embarrassed drawing like a 5-year old? What a waste of time? Why don't you get a job that actually contributes to the world? Your art sucks. You suck. You don't deserve to be happy you sinner. You aren't a good enough person to make art. " And on and on it goes...
Not only is art hard work, it is also incredibly vulnerable and honest. Of course, it doesn't have to be. You can make beautiful art without confronting your nightmares, but for me that just doesn't sit right. I'm trying to capture those inner thoughts and experiences and somehow write them down. And english letters just don't work. So I use my own letters. Letters taught by nature. Curves of the body, texture in a tree, or the fading light of the sun. While there is nothing truly original, it's all been pulled-twisted-mixed-morphed-mashed by humans, but I haven't had my say yet. And there is only one me. Only one Josiah. A million other people may have drawn two friends drinking tea, but I haven't yet.
I hope you join me in my journey, and I hope our journeys can intertwine. You already know an important part of who I am. I believe relationship is very real through words and art. I understand parts of Tolkien and Rowling and Picasso through their work, and I feel like they understand me.
I blog about how I coach myself to make art, and how you can do the same. As well as my creative processes using pen & paper, Procreate, Blender, Zbrush and other fun projects.